Angry With God? — Week 4
By Teresa Norman, Associate Pastor and Pastor of Women’s Ministries,
Mt. Olive Church of God, Cleveland, TN

Scripture:  “I desire therefore that the men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands, without wrath [anger] and doubting” (1 Timothy 2:8).

Have you ever noticed in our society that women have been assigned with the task of expressing the majority of emotions?  It is sociably acceptable for women to fall apart or be joyful, to have breakdown or a breakthrough.  The only one true emotion that seems to be almost unacceptable, without judgment, is anger.  Women are allowed to be upset, irritable and frustrated, but not angry, and especially angry with God.  However, I operate from the belief that God gave us all emotions to be expressed so that we can be understood and seek to understand.

Psalm 4:4 says, “Be angry and do not sin.”  This verse supports my belief and my life experience.  Even Jesus experienced anger when He saw the temple defiled.  Either we can have our anger or our anger can have us.  The choice is really ours.  Is it appropriate to express our anger to a God who already knows our thoughts and our feelings?

Trying to raise two children as a single mom was stressful most days.  I depended on God from the minor details to the large decisions that had to be made for my children and myself.  The past weeks had been filled with one problem after another, one trial after another, and one disappointment after another.  It seemed everyone needed my attention and my time.  I remember telling God, “I can’t take one more thing going wrong in my life.”  And yet, one more thing happened. 

I received news that pushed me over the edge.  That day, I had a meltdown.  I couldn't think clearly.  I was crying uncontrollably and I became mad at God . . . so mad that I declared that I would not pray.  In fact, I shouted to the top of my lungs to God, “I will not pray to You!”  I felt abandoned, hurt, and rejected by God.  This was the same God I had served my entire life, the same God that I raised my children to believe in, and the same God that I trusted with all my heart.  I made a decision not to pray out of rebellion and hurt.  In my heart I knew that prayer was the answer to my immediate problem, but I was so disappointed in God that I would not pray.

As I was playing my piano and singing “God Will Make a Way,” the Holy Spirit prompted me to call others in my local congregation to pray for me.  So, I called the senior pastor, but he was not at home.  I called the associate pastor, but he was not at home.  I called the youth pastor and Christian education director, but (you guessed it), neither was at home.  I called a precious couple in our congregation that I admired and had confidence in, but they were not at home either.  You can only imagine how I felt at this point.  I already felt abandoned by God and now everyone that I had admired and respected, especially for their walks with the Lord, were not at home.

I felt totally forsaken and neglected by the God I had loved and served my entire life.  I went back to the piano to play the same song, and a woman’s face I had known my entire life just flashed before me.  I knew she was a godly woman and that she would pray for me if I could contact her.  So I called . . . and she answered.  I felt immediate relief.  I explained my situation and asked her to pray for me and she agreed.  I immediately went back to play my piano, then the phone rang.  It was the same woman I had just talked with and she invited me to come to her house for prayer.  I declined the invitation because I couldn’t leave my children.  Then she proceeded to give me information that would forever change my attitude toward God and His faithfulness toward His children.

She said, “Why don’t you come to my house.  The pastor and his wife are here, the associate pastor and his wife are here, the youth pastor and his wife are here.”  You guessed it, everyone that I had called for prayer God had strategically placed in the same home long before I received the news that would devastate me.  My heart melted and my anger subsided as I considered His precious love for me.  He was interested in the details of my life and placed all the believers that I admired and respected in the same room just to pray for my circumstance and me.  In spite of my flesh and my need for justice, I allowed the Holy Spirit to lead and direct me.  He empowered me to seek Him and find that His grace is and was sufficient for me.

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, help me today to count it all joy when I am faced with troubles and trials.  I know that the testing of my faith produces patience.  Patience has its perfect work that I may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.  In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

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